Barbara Sher On Criticism: This Might Help You Get Why You Feel So Inadequate
Barbara Sher offer some priceless insight into why we might feel so inadequate, regardless of evidence to the contrary.
Sher signs up to the old adage, "if you don't have something nice to say don't say it". Why? Well you might actually be wrong, for starters. But vitally, on a psychological level, criticisms will sting.
It will leave the recipient feeling rejected, wounded, distrustful - and "they will remember the hurt", no matter what comes next.
And, as everyone knows, once the damage is done it is very hard to undo. We all remember the bad stuff more than the pats on the back. It's in our nature.
When the criticism happens in childhood, the deeper the issues take root. You can get hooked into feeling inadequate and easily triggered later in life.
And the only way we can try and compensate for this is by being perfect, which even then, is never good enough.
Simply understanding how these three factors link together - criticism in childhood, feeling inadequate and the need to be perfect - can be cathartic enough in itself.
But next time you need a reminder, it is worth watching this short clip. It is a great way to snap out of any kind of spiral those feelings of inadequacy can bring on.