"If Only..."

“Suffering is wishing things were other than they are.”

- Gautama Buddha -

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Themes

Regret
Rumination
Brooding

Bittersweet Longing
Counterfactual Thinking
Constructive Wallowing

Thinkers

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Dan Pink
Susan David
Susan Cain

Brené Brown
Guy Winch
Daniel Kahneman

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WHAT REGRET CAN TEACH US ABOUT WHO WE ARE & WHAT WE VALUE,
BY DAN PINK

MORE HERE >>

TED
What The 4 Kinds Of regret Teach Us

Modern Wisdom
How To Overcome Regret

Finding Mastery
Harness the Power of Regret to Move Forward

Dan Pink
The Life-Thwarting Nonsense Of no regrets

Taken from The Power Of Regret, By Daniel H. Pink.

THE "BITTER-SWEET" BENEFITS OF SORROW & LONGING,
BY SUSAN CAIN

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Behind The Brand
Why Sorrow & Longing Make Us Whole

Chase Jarvis
The Beauty Of Being Bittersweet

Jim Kwik
The Power Of bittersweet Emotions

Susan Cain
The Power Of Bittersweet

Taken from Bittersweet, by Susan Cain.

GETTING TO GRIPS WITH BROODING (& FINDING A HEALTHIER ALTERNATIVE),
BY SUSAN DAVID

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Susan David
Are You A Bottler Or A Brooder?

Signature Views
Why Brooding Can Be Counter-Productive

LeadersIn
Getting Unhooked Form Bottling & Brooding

Next Big Idea Club
A Different Approach to Brooding

Susan David
Why You Should Embrace Your Darker Emotions

Taken from Emotional Agility, by Susan David, PhD.

REGRET & RUMINATION,
BY BRENÉ BROWN

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Oprah
Regret Is A Fair But Tough Teacher

The Happiness Lab
Rumination Points Towards Past, Anxiety To The Future (Clip)

The Happiness Lab
Rumination Can Make Nostalgia Unhealthy (Clip)

WHEN WE TRY TO REWRITE THE PAST,
COUNTERFACTUAL THINKING

Daniel Kahneman
"If Only": What Counterfactual thinking Does

Laura Kray
Why We Try To Revise The Past

Francis McAndrew
Counterfactual thinking: A Blessing & A Curse

HANDLING THE PAST,
BY TEAL SWAN

Teal Swan
Pushing Against The Past

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Teal Swan
Bury The Fantasy Of "If Only"

THE ART OF CONSTRUCTIVE WALLOWING,
BY TINA GILBERTSON

MORE D.I.Y. >>

Am Northwest
How To Wallow Constructively

Tina Gilbertson
The Benefits Of Constructive Wallowing

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KPIX CBS
Wallow In Feelings, Not Thoughts

TIPS & WEBISODES

Andy PUddicombe
How Do We Learn To Live Without Guilt & Regret?

Jay Shetty
How Do You Cope With The Pain Of Regret?

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Gary Vee
Watch This If You Regret The Past...

PODCASTS & AUDIO CLIPS

Amy Summerville
Regrets, I Have A Few...

Dan Pink
The Power Of Regret

Tim Ferriss
Regret Is A Powerful Teacher

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"Don’t say, “I’m thinking too much and this is terrible.” Simply notice your emotions for what they are. Who’s in charge here, the thinker or the thought?"

- Susan David

EXTRACTS

Neal Roese
Benchmarking Reality

Taken from If Only, by Neal Roese, PhD.

INSIGHT

Greater Good Magazine
How Sorrow and Longing Enrich Your Life

Big Think
What is counterfactual thinking?

Quartz
A new study on the psychology of persistent regrets can teach you how to live now

Psychology Today
When Is Reimagining the Past a Sign of Emotional Health?

Psychology Today
How to Ruminate Productively

HBR
How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Mistakes

NPR
Why We Can't Shake Life's 'Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda' Moments

Very Well Mind
Rumination: Why Do People Obsess Over Things?

Metro
Why we make up fake scenarios in our heads at night – & why they can be so comforting

APS
The Brooding Mind: Making the Worst of Ambiguity

Next Big Idea Club
Bottling Up Emotions Doesn’t Work, but Neither Does Brooding. Here’s a Different Approach.

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Psychology Today
10 Surprising Reasons You Shouldn't Brood

D.I.Y.

Psych Central
9 Tips to Help Stop Ruminating

Try The Exercise

The Joy Within
The Power of Revision

Try The Exercise

Daily Stoic
Journaling Before Bed Can Decrease Rumination

OCD & Anxiety
"Maybe. Maybe Not": Stop ruminating By Embracing Uncertainty

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TALKS

Guy Winch
How To Turn Off Work Thoughts In Your Free Time

Kathryn Schulz
Don't Regret regret, Here's Why

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CLIPS

Susan Cain
The Power Of Melancholy

Dan Pink
Having A Healthier Relationship With Regret

TV CLIPS

OWN
Regret Can Bring Us To Our Knees

OWN
How To Look At Regret In A Different Way

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TIPS

Optimize
Micro Class: Rumination Vs Reflection

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