Stuck On A Feeling?
Our minds can create incredible whirlwinds of illusions when we unknowingly get sucked into the drama of an unresolved emotion. Here are a few ways to clear that
The most dangerous aspect of unresolved feelings and unaddressed stuck emotions is that we believe whatever it is we are thinking.
We get sucked into a virtual reality that is utterly convincing. And the very idea that there is actually something within our control to take us out of it feels ludicrous if not downright offensive.
For us, this is real: the world is bleak, things are hopeless, we will never find anyone who gets us, we will never get ourselves out of the mess we are in (etc etc).
But the thing that actually sets us free is also the hardest thing to accept.
Aside from when we are faced with serious, life-threatening illnesses and traumatic psychological conditions which require serious professional help, the day-to-day troughs, low spells and dour moods we all experience is totally within our power to eradicate.
It requires 3 initial steps:
Be Honest & Specific
The first step is to ask ourselves how we really feel. Shit? Good. What is it specifically that is getting us down? Pick one thing at a time.
Ask If What We Believe Is True
The second step is to break the grip this idea has on us. We need to challenge our assumptions, that's all. Is there a possibility that what we are thinking isn't actually true?
As soon as have stepped out of the "virtual reality", admitted why we feel so bad and that maybe it's not based in reality, we are ready to work on clearing it.
Here are 4 techniques we can work with by ourselves:
1. Expressive Writing
This is ideal when we are stuck on Step 1.
If we know we feel bad and we're not sure why, just ranting and raving on a piece of paper can begin to work wonders.
It allows us to vent, which is cathartic in itself, but as we write we frequently begin to reveal to ourselves what it actually is that is bugging us deep down. ("....and my life is hard and I don't have any friends...")
2. "The Work"
This technique is worth trying if we are stuck on Step 2, as it is specifically designed to make us confront the beliefs we have about a given situation and ask ourselves if it is true.
It basically involves asking ourselves 4 questions:
Its creator, Byron Katie, has a free e-book detailing the process which can be found here.
3. EFT (Tapping)
This can be used on literally any issue and the alleviation after a couple of rounds is notable and is worth sticking at - the more specific the issue the better.
As the name of the technique suggests, it involves tapping your fingers on several points on your head, face, chest and underarm, as Brad Yates shows below.
4. The CORE Technique
Part of the Emotional Mastery technique, the principle behind this is to actively move towards whatever unpleasant emotion it is you have that you might instinctively want to avoid.
The idea being that once you focus your attention on it and gradually drill deeper into it, simply be observing it and feeling it - without trying too hard to actually shift it - it gradually dissipates.
An example of it can be found below.