What gets your juices flowing? What do you do regardless of reward or recognition? No-one's asked you to do it, no-one's paying you to do it, but you do it anyway, because it makes you happy.

If there is anything at all, you have hit the gold standard, you have nailed intrinsic motivation, a doorway to life satisfaction, meaning, purpose and flow.

The ability to be make ourselves happy, independent of anyone else, or any external factors (like wealth, geography, a network of contacts etc) is a bonafide superpower.

It is perhaps the single most important skill we will stumble across in our lives.

It can give our lives meaning, when perhaps things aren't going our way - and give us the necessary fortitude and willingness to persevere, even if we are not receiving validation for our efforts.

It's the polar opposite of obligation.

This is something we do purely because we want to, because there is something about this activity that means something to us, that has value. 

It allows us to experience that feeling of autonomy in a singular area of our lives, even when we lack it in others.

And it means we can actually have thrilling inner lives even if we appear to be living distinctly average outer ones.


The Work Of Edward Deci

Intrinsic motivation theorist Edward Deci first realised this as a kid, as most of us do (and as he discusses in the first video, below).

He recognised that there were certain classes at school that gripped him, while others left him cold and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't muster up the same levels of enthusiasm for them.


Natural Inclinations

He had stumbled across the idea that we have natural inclinations towards certain topics or activities which become a key factor in successfully meeting key psychological needs.

He ascertains that it is the honouring of these principles that can lay the pathways to the areas of our lives that are essential to our psychological well-being: feeling happy, experiencing life satisfaction, feeling that we are valued, that we are good at something, feeling a sense of control of our lives and having a sense of purpose:

The 3 Requirements

There are three key requirements that need to be met in order to achieve this, he explains and it's the third that raises eyebrows:

We need to feel competent or effective, we need relatedness and we need autonomy:

The Problem With Control

On the other side, "controlled motivation" is about doing something because we feel we have to, whether that pressure comes from other people, society-at-large, material gain - or even ourselves. And needless to say, it's not a great place to be in.

Feeling controlled, micro-managed, coerced with rewards (even if it is with attractive sums of money), in a job we don't like can make us lose interest, sap our motivation and make us money-oriented.

And that can hammer us psychologically, says Deci in the second video (also below):

So the next time we feel that drag, that sense, at best, that we are swimming against the tide, we need to ask ourselves:

1. Are we just in it for the money?
   
2. Are we doing this for recognition?
   
3. Do we feel obliged or coerced to do this in some way?
   

We all have areas of our lives where the answer is "yes" to some of these questions. And it's not a question of radically changing everything if it's not practical.

But if there are any areas of our lives where we can feel that sense of freedom (even if it's a hobby), it's an important question to ask.

It could be vital in safeguarding not only our happiness - but our mental and physical health.

Having a sense of purpose in life does a lot more than give us a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, according to a few key research studies.

Aside from putting the brakes on late stage cognitive decline such as Dementia and Alzheimer's, feeling our lives have meaning and purpose has been found to act as a buffer against heart attacks and strokes.

We could literally be extending our lives by finding what really makes us tick.

From Science Daily, referring to a Mount Sinai study in the US:

From NJ.com:

And from NPR, referring to the findings of the JAMA Current Open Study:

Summing up the importance of having a life purpose is cardiologist Alan Rozanski, who was involved in the Mount Sinai study, quoted in the NPR story:

The number one killer of creativity (and happiness, in general, for that matter) is, arguably, the need for brilliance.

It‘s paralyzing. It‘s also depressing, as it is steeped in — and is rocket fuel for — feelings of gross inadequacy.

If we didn’t feel inadequate already, then piling ridiculous expectations on ourselves for something we haven’t even done yet (or have/own/become) is a guaranteed way to get there.

When we aim disproportionately too high, the Ugly Sister of Inadequacy — the Critical Inner Voice — is then, by default, given free reign to well and truly put the boot in.

It relishes this as an opportunity to remind us in a myriad of ways just how much of a ridiculous failure we really are. “We’re never going to get there”, it whispers, “So, why bother?”

This is not to say we shouldn’t aim high in life, by the way. But there are times when it helps to scale it back a bit.


The Joy Of Zero Expectations

Having zero expectations is a joy in itself — regardless of what comes of it (which is literally the point).

There is so much pressure in life to be “this”, look like “that” and live an Instagram-worthy life. It’s flat-out miraculous to find a place in this world where we can be completely free of any expectations.

And that is why creating-without-expectation is so incredibly healthy. It is creativity for creativity’s sake, giving us that one sacred place, free of obligation, where we can just be.


Finding Our True Voices

Dropping our expectations, or our ambition, every now and again can also free us from hive-like thinking, which is vital if we are to act in a way that is unique to each and every one of us.

Often our goals (and ultimately our identities) our influenced largely by people we see in the world who have already “made it”.

We want to be like them, we think they have found the perfect formula, which, if followed to the letter will make us as “happy” and “successful” as they are.

Before we realise it, we have modeled our ideas and lives on them.

So, if we want to be a successful blogger, for example, we might obediently look at what other successful bloggers have done and think — “there’s the formula — they’ve got it right”.

So, we just do what they do. We operate on the assumption that if we follow their rules, implement their procedures, reach out to the same kinds of people, then bingo — we’ll be like them and we’ll have the kinds of lives they have.

And while that might actually work in some cases, we need to ask ourselves if this is it what we actually want for ourselves?

Is there a certain degree of emptiness in this approach? Are we denying ourselves the ability to chart our own paths?

As Joseph Campbell once said:

Charting Our Own Paths

Paradoxically, embracing a lack of ambition and significantly lowering our expectations are what allows us to find out what our path actually looks like.

Here are some ways it helps:

1. Procrastination
We can sideline procrastination and actually get started on something new (rather than just fantasize about it), because it doesn’t really matter. The pressure is off.

(As Mel Robbins argues here, excessively ambitious plans can be the very thing that prevents us from actually starting a new project, because of the inordinate pressure it puts on us.)

2. Risk-Taking
We can take risks when we are in this state as we are not trying to prove anything to anyone. As a result, we are far more likely to try something new, or take a new approach — and do something that’s more like us.

3. Creative Block
Being a bit crap allows us to avoid creative blocks. We can actually leverage it as a technique when we need to.

(Tim Ferriss testifies to this approach with his “Two Crappy Pages” tip.)

4. Purpose
Following our natural inclination to do something, regardless of the outcome, can be a gateway to discovering what really matters to us. This is what will bring us greater meaning and a sense of purpose in the long run.

5. Intrinsic Motivation
By creating something for the simple joy of doing it, we get a taste for what it feels like to be intrinsically motivated. There are no expectations on us, no-one is asking us (or paying us, even) to do this — we are acting autonomously, which in turns gives us:

6. Agency
We gain a sense of agency from doing something we are not obligated to do. We gain a feeling of control over part of our lives, that we might not otherwise have in other areas, which is vital to our health and well-being.

7. Flow/The Zone
Being intrinsically driven and autonomously led are vital ingredients for entering that elusive — and highly sought-after — flow state. Doing what we genuinely like to do — without expectation — is far more likely to get us in the zone than killing ourselves with unreasonable expectations and following cookie-cutter methods to get what we think we should have.

8. Eureka Moments
Ideas come when we are not trying — when we have switched off. Dropping the expectations, easing up on ourselves and literally going with the flow is then far more likely to lead to those breakthrough moments. And this, ironically, will likely take us to that magical place we had, at last, stopped chasing after.

A recent article in The Guardian, kind of summed up by its title ("A dirty secret: you can only be a writer if you can afford it"), has done its bit to blow the lid on an entire industry - and also an idealised view on life we all might be guilty of having.

That view is that achieving our dreams is somehow egalitarian in its nature - available to all; that all you need is talent and passion and fate will take care of the rest.

This author's inconvenient truth, when it comes to the literary business, however, is that this idea simply isn't true.

You need financial backing if you want to be a writer, says Lynn Steger.

That means at a very basic level, you need to be able to pay the rent, pay the bills and buy food while you are penning the next classic work of literature (and then you might have to pay out a very tidy sum to publicise the thing if you want anyone to know it actually exists).


Facing A Few Home Truths

Very few people can do this, Steger notes.

And the ones who can are either already well-taken care of financially - or have a partner who can pick up the slack while they take X amount of months off work to allow themselves the sufficient time and space they need to be creative.

As she writes:

What she means is that it's actually very hard to make a living as a writer.

And the wider truth is that a lot of people we might look up to, that appear to have "made it", might very well have had pre-existing income to draw on - or a helping hand along the way.

And its our lack of appreciation for this fact that gives us a distorted idea of what it actually takes to be successful if we are not already in a privileged position of some kind.


(Not) Having Your Cake & Eating It

This is the reality of the publishing game. It is also the reality of most other games.

If you do not have a network of backers and if you are not sitting on a pile of cash, it can be very difficult to "follow your passion" if you are a Regular Joe.

But it gets even harder if you expect to fulfill your dreams but you also want to have all the bells and whistles life has on offer at the same time.

Try financing a mortgage, driving a nice car, paying for twice-yearly holidays and decking yourself out in fashionable attire, whilst also breaking in to a new area.


Ambition Requires... Minimalism?

This is where sacrifice comes in.

As entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk explains in the videos below, one of the key components of ambition is actually minimalism.

In order to give ourselves a chance of succeeding at what actually makes us happy, we need to drastically cut back on things that only appear to.

And this is where we can hit a wall.


Dealing With Stigma

It might be the social stigma of not driving a certain car, not wearing luxury branded shoes, not being able to maintain the same kind of social life as our friends.

Or it could be the shame that comes from our new pared down, scaled back life, particularly if we have done something as dramatic (and socially unacceptable) as move back in with our parents, something Vaynerchuk is a big proponent of (at any age).

But, as Vaynerchuk argues, not only is there no shame in sacrificing any of these things (i.e. our material possessions or social status), if we want to really make it - it might actually be our only real chance of succeeding if we are really serious about seeing our dreams through.

So, in the absence of backers, a pre-existing pot of cash to fall back on, or someone who can subsidize us while we chase our dreams, at some point we have to decide.

Are we willing to "slum it" in order to "make it"? 

When it comes down to it, what really matters to us the most?

Only then will we know for sure if our dreams are actually more than just pipe-dreams.

Can "good enough" really ever be good enough? Your answer to that question will determine which of the following two categories you typically fall under: Maximiser or Satisficer (and yes, it is spelt that way).

According to psychologist Barry Schwartz, a Maximiser wants the absolute best of everything. It has to be perfect, nothing less will do and all options must be exhausted before the holy-grail-of-whatever is finally found.

While this might seem admirable - and in certain situations, it is - a Satisficer is often the one who actually wins out in the end, according to research.


Satisficers Vs Maximisers

A Satisficer has a clear idea of what they are looking for but will happily settle for the first option that meets their requirements.

They make their decisions quicker (saving time), maintain higher levels of satisfaction with their choice, have fewer regrets and are less likely to compare themselves to others, leading to higher levels of happiness.

Conversely, Maximisers might ultimately be more successful in life - including financially - but are less grateful for what they have.

The issue is perpetual dissatisfaction, always wondering if there is something better out there that they have not yet discovered. Not surprisingly, people in this category can be prone to depression.


Why We Need Satisficing

Being satisficed with your lot, then, might be something worth considering, at least in the a short term. Getting tangled up in a quandry over every single decision can be frustrating, self-defeating and demoralising.

It can also distract you from other things you can be getting on with and there is a lot of evidence to say you will come up with a "better idea" at a later point, anyway, if you switch off and walk away.

And if that's not enough, practicing satisficing as a technique can be a nice way of confronting any perfectionist tendencies you might be secretly harbouring.  So the next time you spend an innordinate amount of time  internally anguishing over the ramifications of that decision you just took, then this might be just the thing for you.

Tim Ferriss has some unusual advice: if you want to be good at something, don't aim for the stars.  The secret is to aim much lower than that - even for the trash.

Why? It makes the task you are facing far less intimidating and easier-to-achieve.

And it is that feeling of achievement that gets the creative juices flowing.


What Kills Productivity

Feeling overwhelmed by a job-at-hand - i.e. living in a state of performance anxiety or creative paralysis - is a perfect breeding ground for creative block and procrastination to take root.

That feeling of overwhelm can often happen when we are thinking too big.

We are setting impossibly high standards for ourselves,  placing obstacles in our path before we have even got started.

As Ferriss says in this clip from Creative Live, the question to ask at that point is:

If that's the case, then it needs to be nipped in the bud straight away. And to do that, says Ferriss, the trick is to set a challenge that is idiot-proof.


The Lesson Of IBM

He takes inspiration from IBM, of all companies, which, when it was at its height, was famous for having an "incredibly effective" sales-force that "smashed their quotas".

One of the reasons for this was IBM's policy of keeping sales targets very low, as Ferriss explains:

Which they did.

And it it this idea of aiming low that can be applied across all disciplines in order to give ourselves a kick-start, he argues.


"Two Crappy Pages"

For writers, it would mean this: instead of setting yourself an incredibly high goal of writing 10 brilliant pages of prose in a single sitting, simply aim for "two crappy ones".

The latter is far easier to do, is liberating in its nature as you can literally write anything - and most importantly,  it will give you the feeling that you have achieved something.

It will be this feeling in itself, says Ferriss, that will ultimately help get your creative wheels turning and the doors of productivity will be far more likely to open:

So, the next time you're hitting that wall, ask yourself if it's set a bit high.

Are you expecting brilliance to come straight away? If so, firstly forgive yourself if it is having a paralysing effect.

And then take joy in the fact that not only is it perfectly OK to be a bit "crappy" at times - it could be exactly what is required.

Some words don't give their meaning justice. And some are just off-putting. "Grit" is one of these words.

It sounds harsh, mechanical, heartless; a "pull-yourself-together-and get-on-with-it" type word. It isn't particularly reassuring, uplifting or inspiring. And it can feel grating on the ears if offered as a suggestion when you are faced by what feels like an impossible task ahead of you.

But grit isn't about testosterone-fuelled chest-pounding. You don't have to be Tarzan to have it.

And you certainly don't have to be Tony Robbins to use it.


Who Has Grit?

Grit can be gentle, it can be slow, it can be plodding. The people who have grit are simply the ones who can marry their dedication to a wish or a task or a cause with a drive and commitment to carry it out (at whatever pace).

You can still be a loner, the shy one, a dreamer, the basket case in the corner - and have this trait.

Conversely, you can have the world's highest IQ, a god-given talent and come from a blessed background and not have it.

As Angela Duckworth explains in her TED talk, below, what ultimately counts is how we approach life and its obstacles - and how hard we work to overcome them:

It is the domain of (and can be learnt by) anyone who is willing to stick at it hell or high-water and, vitally, who is also able to adopt a "Growth Mindset", which is being able to admit that you can improve - always.

And, as Duckworth believes, it is these kinds of people who win in the end - in all walks of life.